Portrait of A Diva

Since I've Been Gone

2011-10-27T00:43:00.001+01:00

***Please be warned, mushy as hell***

My last post was titled 'not searching' and while that's correct, I've somehow floundered into what I wasn't looking for... love. In this ever evolving universe of mine, I found love right between my toes or was it a tender whisper in my ear... In whatever way it made itself apparent, it was love. No need to bring out your scrolls and quills, no lecture here.

Between July and now:

I discovered I love my friends. Like this choking, air-sapping kind of love... It's a little more than the warm, fuzzy feeling kind of love and less than I don't know. Things happen and your eyes are torn open, yes torn open and you realise what you live for and that you've been wasting time all this while. Stop wasting time on people that don't matter, people that you have to work your ass off to get in their good books. Forget those people. Worry about the people that really count, those that know you for you and not for what they can get off you.
I learnt the trouble with love. It tears you up inside and makes your heart believe a lie (thanks Kelly Clarkson for the lyrics, whose new album rocks btw). I learnt this the hard way with Adele, Al Green and other forlorn love torn artists out there. Thank you. Music is definitely food to the soul.
I now know that Adele has the most amazing voice and will definitely be an amazing friend. Watched her in concert, no props or gimmicks, pouring her heart out as the soulful songbird that she is. She is also dead funny and has the most unladylike laugh in all the land. That's the kind of friend I love.
Gaddafi was killed and Amanda Knox set free.
Britney Spears music still sucks ass. I'll dance to it regardless.
I became a year older.
Smoked a cigarette. Bitter stuff. My ex never let me try it. Yes he was a smoker. Curiosity got the best of me. Not trying it again no matter how cool the cancer stick between my elegant fingers looked. Come hell or high water!!! (just felt like using that)
Beyonce's "I miss you" was the story of my life for a while.
My sister is the fluffiest fluff in all the land but still wobbled through those feathers and kicked premasters in engineering's ass to the curb.
My weight is still where I last left it. On me.
Starting to talk to some guys and well... Well!
I'm still not 100% certain what I want to do with myself but I know what I don't want.
Got my first designer bag ever!

Now that's out of the way. I can tell you one thing, the name of the guy I love... Common!

Love,

BubblyBliss

Not Searching

2011-07-30T15:33:00.000+01:00

Sometimes the people you love lie to you in a bid to protect you. I know I have done that. I have lied or hidden the truth to protect someone, a loved one. How foolish of me!

But the truth that you need to hear will come to you even when you're not searching for it.

Things that Make Me Happy

2011-07-20T00:38:00.002+01:00

Something that makes me happy is cooking. I'm free to experiment with whatever and however. It's just me, my kitchen and my belly that pays the consequences sometimes. I love stir fry and cooking quick meals. Here's a random dish I came up with when I was hungry and kinda broke. Had peppers, onions and shrimp at home and voila! It was half way through the preparation I thought to blog about this so pardon me that I didn't take photos of the ingredients and all.I want to share this with you:

Shrimp Pepper Sauce
Ingredients
1 large onion
2 scotch bonnets (na pepper oh)
3 bell peppers (preferably different colours)
2 packets of peeled and cooked shrimps
2 cooking spoonfuls olive oil
2 tbs flour
Salt
Mixed herbs
2 double cooking cubes

Chop up your onions and peppers into long slices.

Heat your oil in a wok pan at medium temperature and fry your onions and pepper together.

Sprinkle in your seasonings (salt, cooking cubes and mixed herbs) and stir.

Add your bell peppers and stir. Then cover the pan and leave to simmer for 2-3 minutes. No longer so the peppers still have crunchy.

Add your shrimps, and leave to simmer.

Drain the sauce from the pan and mix with the corn flour to thicken the sauce. Dribble it over the stir fry and stir till it thickens.

And there you have it, shrimp pepper sauce. You can have it with rice or as a side dish or with indomie noodles (student's daily bread), however you like, as long as you like it. Hope you enjoy it when you try it.

Remain bubbly and blessed.

xoxo,

BubblyBliss

How?

2011-07-16T01:56:00.002+01:00

How do you get over an ex-boyfriend?

The Cusp

2011-06-27T00:38:00.001+01:00

I'll have you know that I only just learnt the word 'cusp' today. Such a simple word but hey, that's life. Everyday you learn something new. Yesterday, I learnt no matter how poor your diction, you can become a nation's beauty queen. Moving on...

cusp (kʌsp) n.

A point or pointed end.
A transitional point or time, as between two astrological signs.

Well these are the two meanings that are relevant to me. It has mathematical and analytical meanings too. And in what context was this word used? A deep discussion about sun and moon signs. The astrological signs you're used to are the sun sign. Google moon signs and get your answers. I, apparently, am a cross between Cancer and Gemini in moon signs and a Libra in sun signs i.e my regular signs. I have only learnt about this thanks to my 'ever curious constantly seeking a deeper sense of self' friend. It's interesting how accurate these signs can be.... This isn't even what I want to talk ab-boooout! Herein begins an almost emotional banter...

Well I'm at a cusp... Ending an fabulous era and the beginning of great times ahead. A wonderful friend told me that he prays for me all the time and God told Him that I need to stop worrying that even though I am not where I want to be and sometimes feel like a failure, the victory will only be greater. So I no longer worry about tomorrow and when people ask me what's next for me, I really don't owe them an answer... I am just looking forward to my amazing future. So I'm holding on to this scripture:

Matthew 6:25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

So if you too are at a cusp and the future is too bleak to be visualised, hold on to the above scripture. It will be alright.

Remain Bubbly and Blessed.

xoxo

BubblyBliss

Guilty

2011-06-15T14:53:00.003+01:00

... is something I will no longer feel when I am tempted to read a novel, write a blog post, watch TV, browse the internet aimlessly, enjoy myself... because I have faced the giant that is CFA and I have won (Amen!!!). How has life been in the blogging world?!

Obviously not much has happened to me since I last came here. I have just been studying, studying, cramming, praying, studying, studying... There is one thing that is worthy of mention though. I met up with the ex-boyfriend... We had a moment, the a couple of awkward ones and then everything was okay. So much time has passed though... I was like 'wow!' Moving on swiftly(with this write up I mean)...

I've been wondering how I am going to spend my time until I get a great job...

Driving Lessons. It's about time I learnt how to drive. Well, I did learn, did a driving test and passed and had no car. Never drove after that. Four years on and I still haven't driven a car. I need to do this all over again and when I'm done I'll steal daddy's car keys to his most precious car and drive into the sunset! Until then, I'm off to get a provisional license.
Learn French. Je parle un peu francais et je peux lire et ecrire le langue mais je voudrais amelorier... Use google translate to decipher what I just wrote though it's pretty obvious. So I dream of going to Paris to learn French though mon pere is not forthcoming. See how French comes naturally to me, I don't know why I can't magically speak the language just yet. I switch between French and English like J'habite en France.Le sigh!
Job hunting. Yes to get that great job I have to search for it even though I find this a very tedious and tiresome affair. I guess I will have change that mindset to keep myself motivation. On the count of 3, I will shout 'mindset change': 1,2,3.... 'MINDSET CHANGE!' *waiting... waiting... waiting...* No fairy dust or sparkles. No difference. I can't feel a change... Will get back to you on that. (rummaging through mindset manual)
Reading and writing. Just that.

I told God that I wanted to do more for Him and this is what He did: gave me a leadership position in the choir and I now lead praise and worship. Today will be the first day I lead a service... Exciting stuff! I will let you know how it goes. Here are the songs I'm singing. Wish me luck!

Time to go shower!

Ooooh! Wait! News on my weight loss. I currently weigh 85kg (as of last weekend) and I took a break from the protein diet. I fell ill you see, right after my exam and the doctor claimed it was a viral infection + exhaustion. I needed to rest and get more energy. I blame the exam. I didn't work out for a week (doctor's recommendations... ugh!) but I resumed today after a week of feeling fat, bloated, underachieved, etc. I didn't have my usual exercise high. I have written this post on that high. Can you tell?! Well, I resume all things protein today. I just had lunch of moin-moin, grilled chicken in a tomato marinade (home made) and some random stew/sauce thingy. My blender packed up so I made stew with bits in it, something I like to call bachelor's stew.

Okay bye!

Oh! One more thing! Selfridges sale! The sale started at 8am and I got the 8:37am. The queue at Gucci was ridiculous. No designer bag for me. I had a budget of £100-150. So I got a watch, perfume and shoes. Total spent: £128.50. I'm proud of myself.

Bisous (French for kisses, I'm sure you knew that),

BubblyBliss

God's Emergency Numbers

2011-05-22T00:59:00.000+01:00

"When in sorrow - call John 14
When you are lonely or fearful - call Psalm 23
When you want to be fruitful - call John 15
When you have sinned - call Psalm 51
When you grow bitter and critical - call I Corinthians 13
When you worry - call Matthew 6: 19-34
When you feel down and out - call Romans 8: 31-39
When your prayers grow selfish - call Psalm 67
When you are in danger - call Psalm 91
When your faith needs stirring - call Hebrews 11
When God seems far away - call Psalm 139
When others fail you - call Psalm 27
When you leave home to labor or travel - call Psalm 121
When you want assurance - call Romans 1: 1-30
For Paul's secret of happiness - call Colossians 3: 12-17
When the word seems bigger than God - call Psalm 70 and Jeremiah 33: 3
If you believe in Jesus Christ call Him up"
-Author Unknown

Away...

2011-05-04T23:52:00.003+01:00

I will be away from my blog for a little while but fear not! I shall return and grace you with my fabulousness some time in June.

I have the CFA program to prepare for. I write my exam in June and I need to focus. After that, I will start ticking all the wonderful things iI have to accomplish on my to do list between now and September. I hoping and praying to move back to Nigeria to resume an amazing job later in the year. So... time to fulfil dreams of travel, wishful thinking, etc.

This will be great!

À bientôt! For now...

Remain Bubbly and blessed,

BubblyBliss

Weigh In - Week 3

2011-04-18T00:00:00.000+01:00

Well, this week went well until my weigh in. I didn't add weight, don't worry. My scale has gone bonkers. I weighed myself today and it read 83.5kg. From 87 last week. Impossible! I know I should be super excited but it's just impossible for one week. So I weighed again and it showed 86.8kg, then 88, 86, 85.8, 87,etc.... You get the point. In summary, I don't know what I gained or lost this week. So it's not until next that I find out after I have bought a regular and efficient scale that doesn't pick a weight for you at random.

I also have to confess, I ate a little bread today not because I was indulging rather, had dinner with friends at Byron... a nice burger place. That's about it. I have been good this week. Here's to a better week ahead.

The Outnet

2011-04-12T22:32:00.000+01:00

Just a mini rant. Last year the Outnet had a fabulous 1st birthday sale and everything cost just £1. I missed it because i was in Nigeria with crappy internet access and when i finally got online the site was down. Too much traffic It's their 2nd birthday this week, and yes you guessed right, everything costs £2; but this time it's exclusive you have to have an invite and there are only 2,000 invites worldwide. Talk about rationing. I have registered for the draw and I check my spam everyday just in case my invite goes there... Nothing!!!!!

Like where else will I get such a good deal. I remember someone tweeting on my timeline that they got a £355 designer bag for £1. I sulked the entire day... Okay no I didn't but you can tell it pained me for me to still remember the price. Anyway here's hoping I get an invite. And if you are interested, leave your email in the comment or just let me know so I can give more details. I have tweeted it, blabbed on facebook, bombarded my email contacts, and now im blogging about it. I really want an invite, can you tell? In fact, go to the site yourself for more details (don't care about referring anyone, I have done my part)... Theoutnet

Weigh In - Week 2

2011-04-10T07:55:00.000+01:00

And judgement day came... 87.9kg.... *deathly silence*

I 'ascended' the scale four more times... 87.9kg kept flashing on the screen. Damn scale must be broken! Hiss. Well the scale was not broken. I knew before I weighed myself that I had added weight. I was reckless this week.

I ate/drank carbs. Well... not like bingeing on all the white stuff no, no. I chewed a little more gum that I should have. I knew I shouldn't have tasted that gum. Chewed a packet or two a day and told myself I loved blowing tacky bubbles. So... 125 calories times 7 equals 875! So that's what happened in the past week. Also, there was this one day, thursday, I left the house and forgot to eat and at 4pm, unsuspecting me was made to trek down Peckcham high street or road. I was tired and grumpy, thigh aching and head hurting. Then I realised I hadn't eaten. No fast food offers my selection of food... ugh! KFC, McDees... blehhh! I refused to eat any of these. I hopped on the train to head to church for choir practice, when I got out after a 45-60 minute train ride, I was weak and drained. KFC stared me in the face, and so did McDees, Starbucks, Costa and Cafe Nero.... Ugh! Walked into KFC (bad idea) and bought 3 hot wings and I washed it down with pure orange juice (of course not from KFC all they have is grease and sugar).

Well looking on to a bright and slimmer future, this week has a strict plan. With distraction out of the way (I deleted my Blackberry Messenger), the week ahead holds so much promise. I can study in peace. No red light palperbrating at me; and an exciting protein menu free of indulgent nuts. Oh yes! I ate more nuts that any human being should ever eat in a week. Nuts are high protein but fatty. And the bbm:

The silly blackberry could actually talk and go on and on and on.And here's what I wished possible so I didn't have to do anything extreme:

I've run out of things to say. Pardon any typos and gbagauns. It's time for me to get ready for church. Happy Sunday!

Stay bubbly and blessed,

BubblyBliss.

This Post

2011-04-09T14:24:00.001+01:00

I would like to be anonymous to write this post but as some of you know who I am, I will not say what it is as I'm sure a certain person will call me immediately. All I can say is I need strength. (She's dialing my number as she reads this... I'm sure). It can only get better in time.

It's a sunny day! 22 degrees! And I'm trying to study... Sigh.

In fact. I'm going to start another blog and remain anonymous... hmmm! Not! Okay that's enough randomness for a day.

Day 8 - Weigh In

2011-04-03T23:52:00.001+01:00

Da-da-dum! Did all that effort pay off. Oh yes indeed! Mounted the glorious digital glass scale in my bathroom with my eyes closed. And when I took a peek, I was pleased! :-) 87.5kg! Meaning I am down 0.7kg i.e. 1.54 lbs. My oh my! Glory to God. That's all i have for today. Thank you and goodnight. I'm exhausted.

P.S:

There is this dude... and no I don't fancy him so wipe that smirk/grin/ or whatever you have on your face. Friend of a friend. Wanted, okay wants, to be my friend so my friend gave him my pin, with my permission of course. I was a little mean, but we do not have the same sense of humour and a lot of the things he says stupefy (yes, stupefy) me. Like when I was having dinner yesterday. He sent me a message at 20:12 pm asking if it was too late for us to meet up for dinner. Please note, I have not met this dude. Talk about making impressions. Here's what transpired:

Dude: Is it too late for some dinner

Bubbly: Dinner? I'm already at dinner.

Dude: I knw! (sic) Is it too late for me to join in?

Bubbly: Umm. Are you being serious? I'm with my friend and her dad...

Dude: Just u (sic) three?

Bubbly: No and her aunty and two others

Dude: Ok :-(

Hmm. Okay. I'm not quite sure the above conversation is congruous (yes, I will be throwing random words all over the place at an attempt at improving my vocabulary, correct any misuse in the comments. Thank you) to how well we know each other. I mean I chatted with him for the first time, the day before. I don't even know the dude to be meeting him for the first time while having dinner with other people. I mean. How would I introduce him?!

Bubbly: Everyone meet Tani.

Everyone: Oh hello. (skip other niceties) How do you guys know each other?

Bubbly: Umm... friend of a friend? *scratching head and shifting about awkwardly* Actually we don't. I'm just meeting him for the first time

Everyone: *side eye* Okay. So...

Bubbly: So... Blehhhh!

Of course it wouldn't have occurred in that exact way, but you get me. We chatted again today and it was even more awkward. 5 lines. Nothing against the dude, but we definitely do not have the same sense of humour. And that's about it.

Bed time. New week ahead with new challenges. Have a blessed and bubbly week ahead.

xx,

BubblyBliss

Day 6 and 7

2011-04-03T23:22:00.000+01:00

Day 6:
A very productive day at the gym. Did a body attack work out... Basically intense aerobics. I had the usual for breakfast and, lunch?! Hmm.... lunch. Skip. I was going out for dinner so i just had a light snack for lunch. Dinner was at Busaba and I had jungle curry and chicken wings. That jungle curry indeed tasted like the jungle. That's about it for day 6.

Day 7:
Started off good. My break day. I went to visit a friend and i had chicken and vegetable sauce for lunch. Later had dinner with a friend and her family at a Nigerian restaurant, 805. And what did I have?! Spiced gizzard, moinmoin and assorted meat pepper soup :-) . Well, I was incapable of eating the peppersoup when I saw the quantity of gizzard I was served! It was meant to be a starter and it was as good as my main course. Trust Nigerians! And I lose my appetite when I have too much on my plate. So I had the peppersoup packed up and ate the rest. The moinmoin..... ewwww!!!!! Barf worthy! I'm sure pap was mixed into it because it felt jelly-like and tasted funny. It was excruciatingly painful to eat. I had to give up at some point. Loved the gizzard though. And that was it for the day.

Day 5 - ZUMBA!

2011-04-01T12:18:00.002+01:00

OMG! OMG! OMG! I'm in love! Like, I have even more reason to keep going to the gym. My work outs will no longer be a routine. Thank God for creating Zumba. Dramatic, much?! Yes!!!!!

I'm sure some of you have heard about Zumba, and Bella Naija recently wrote about it here. According to the website Zumba combines Latin and International music with a fun and effective workout system. So think along the lines of intense salsa and rumba. My class was a 75 minute workout with 1 minute breaks every 15 minutes. Intense!!! I was sweating my ass off! My body was hurting from the previous day's class and I knew I would feel more pain after this and I loved it! My body needs to be stretched. It's gotten lazy from the treadmill and elliptical machine and dumb bells and mats and all that personal work out where no one's pushing me to go harder. It's used to all of that. Which I will still do! I will be alternating my work outs. Don't want my body breaking down on me.

So Zumba was nothing short of amazing! And I am excited that they have classes in Abuja so I can join them when I move back later this year. Woohoo! Oh yes, I plan to move back home. It's in my prayers.

Nutrition:

I had my usual glass of fresh milk and went to so some grocery shopping. I bought gizzard and chicken and I found yoghurt that's low in carbohydrate and high in protein... Greek yoghurt. Authentic greek yoghurt according to them. This is what it looks like:

Had to super size the picture so you can see the nutrient content. It is high in fat so I'd recommend you mix with water and divide into portions for different days. It would be catastrophic to finish this tub in one day... I have a confession. I cheated yesterday. I bought chewing gum! And that may sound trivial to you but it was bubblicious and it's soooo sweet. I just googled the nutrient content and I am even more ashamed:

Oh yes! I google everything. So let's do the math. One piece is 25 calories. A packet has 5 pieces, therefore a packet of bubblicious bubble gum has 125! I wasted 125 calories. Ugh! I enjoyed blowing blue bubbles, there's my consolation. Besides that, all is fine and dandy in my nutritional world. I made moinmoin as well. Someone thinks I'm overdosing on it. I can't overdose on moinmoin.... It's moinmoin. Just in case you think my diet's boring, I have done more homework to find more recipes and high protein meals. So look out next week. For now, it's moin moin, chicken and beef pieces for lunch. Adios!

Day 4

2011-04-01T11:29:00.000+01:00

Very interesting day. I went for my first of many gym classes to come... the body balance class. It's a combination of tai chi and yoga. I dint know this before I attended the class, so I was a little surprised; the description didn't say anything about that. A little awkward too!

Everyone else knew themselves and the instructor pointed at me a couple of times to correct my positions to avoid joint pains. Thankfully I don't get embarrassed easily. *side eye* The class was great regardless! Of course I did not get all the moves right and I got exhausted quickly, it was still a very good class and I'll be there next week.

And what did I have for food?! Hmmm. Can't remember... sorry! I should have put this up on Wednesday to avoid this nonsense. Anyway, chicken was involved and yoghurt. I just remember I started the day with a glass of fresh milk.

That's it for day 4.

Stay Bubbly and blessed,

BubblyBliss

Day 3

2011-03-30T16:21:00.002+01:00

Sorry for the late post. Yesterday went well. Meaty meaty meaty! All the way. I had a glass of milk and a handful of nuts for breakfast; grilled chicken for lunch and grilled beef and chicken bits with caesar salad. All very tasty. I marinated the chicken and beef over night and grilled it. The grilled chicken I had for lunch was from Nando's though.

My workout: I ran for 25 minutes on the treadmill at speed of 8 mins/km. So it was more like jogging to be honest. I did mat exercises that focused on my core.

Crunches: 2 sets of 20 reps
Medicine ball crunches, 2 sets of 15 reps, weight 6kg
Reverse crunches: 2 sets of 15 reps

There are many other exercises you can do to work on your core besides crunches e.g. the plank, side plank, standing side bend, etc. I am no expert oh, but if you want ideas for exercises, you could ask me and I will research on them or alternatively use Spark People. They have amazing exercise demos on their website and videos on youtube. I hope you find them very helpful with setting your goals, motivating you and achieving them.

Stay bubbly and blessed,

BubblyBliss

Day 2

2011-03-28T21:54:00.004+01:00

Today was another great day of dieting. I woke up at 6:30 am energised and ready to take over the world. Said my prayers and I was off to the gym. I did a short work out so I could make it to school in good time (which I did). I did some cardio and lower body strength training. I power walked 35 minutes and did 2 sets of 15 reps of hip adduction and hip abduction exercises. Great for toning your thighs. And now the weather's getting warmer, I walked from my house to the station instead of hopping on a smelly icky bus. I managed to walk 6,818 steps according to my pedometer. I'm on a roll, I pray I can keep up!

For a split second I thought about carbs then I saw what I was having for dinner and all thoughts of carbs dissipated. So you want to know what I had for see. Well... see for yourself...

Yes! A feast of protein and vegetable! Moinmoin with Mexican style chicken salad and bits of franfurters. Needless to say, it was yum and filling! And I think I've not actually had to deal with cravings just yet because proteins are sooooo filling! I'm sure some of you are rolling your eyes thinking 'Yeah right!'. Please oh! This meal was a living lush! Well I have an undying love for moinmoin so I was loving the meal from just seeing it.

So what did I have for breakfast and lunch?! I skipped both meals. Not purposely though. I was in class all day *insert embarrassed face*. And I made sure I had a little snack to get me through the day and avoid exhaustion. Here's what I snacked on:

The seed and nut mix from M & S. I blogged about pumpkin seeds a while back and yes, I'm still hooked on the good stuff. I attempted highlighting the protein content (albeit unsuccessfully) and 100g of this goodness contains 26.9g and the GDA for protein is 45g. So you're halfway through your proteins for the day. Now don't go overdosing on these especially if you are used to eating heavy, you will get hungry again. About half a packet of this got me through breakfast and lunch with lots of water. I wouldn't do this again though. I just have it for snacking purposes not meals! Also note that the GDA for protein has to increase and that of carbohydrates reduce to supplement for lost sources of energy.

That's it for the day. Hope the information provided is useful for anyone that is thinking of how to incorporate more proteins into their meal plans.

Stay bubbly and blessed,

BubblyBliss

High Protein Diet - Day 1

2011-03-27T23:36:00.001+01:00

The first day of my high protein diet was actually good! Discovering the greatness of meat and recipes for a high protein diet and what to avoid. Unfortunately yoghurts are a no-no because they are also high in carbs so the alternative for it is soy milk (bleh!). Also I think I probably sinned by eating fried chicken. I thought I could eat celerac too (but it's high in carbs too...) but I'm reading up on proteinous meals and how to make my meals exciting. I can snack on nuts and overdose on moinmoin. I might dare to taste seafood, not made up my mind on that one. Day 1 was craving-free. Wonder what day 2 will be like. Well, bed time now! Will share some of the information I found about protein diets tomorrow. Also, I started the diet weighing in at 88.2kg. I do a full body measurement tomorrow. Good night everyone!

Stay bubbly and bless,

BubblyBliss.

p.s: Pardon any typos and grammatical errors to sleepy to read through. Also. I will not be blogging about it everyday oh! Just my journey through the first week then weekly updates

Where I've Been...

2011-03-26T14:50:00.005Z

It has been a while and I'd love to say I was doing fabulously while away but that would be a bit of a lie. Some days were fabulous and some weren't. For the most part of it, I have been stuck in a rut but only got out yesterday. I feel soo good now and sooo fat too. Ugh! And you know what comes next when a girl says she's fat... diet! Yes, I'm going on a diet. Being in a rut is not really ideal health wise, I gained a humongous amount of weight and it's time to shed it all. Well, not all as I would still love to be in existence. I'm a 14 going on 16 and I'd be very pleased to be a 10, thank you very much. So that journey begins here and now. Committing myself to the challenge of losing at least 20kg through the year. Don't worry I'm not unrealistic. Won't say I'll lose it in 6 weeks... So you wonder what I weigh now if I need to lose 20kg to be satisfied?! 88 KG!!! 88 bloody kilograms of fat, bone, fat, muscle, fat, fat, and more fat. Double Ugh!

And this isn't even what I want to talk aboooout!!!!!!

My last thoughtful toffee was about sharing happiness. So I am sharing... I got out of my rut. How?! By realising I was in one. How did I realise that?! Well I observed a pattern/trend. I go to bed with plans in my head, wake up with those plans in my head, and remain in bed with those plans in my head. I never acted them out or even wrote them down. So a lot was going on in my head but there was no motivation to do something about it. On thursday, I spoke to someone, an insightful conversation.... very! Told him how I had no motivation to ~~live~~ (a tad dramatic) do anything... couldn't study, couldn't cook, couldn't exercise, couldn't do nothing. So he asked if anything had changed recently... More like nothing had changed... So! I decided to break my routine of nothing. Step one...

Get enough sleep. Sleep early and wake up early. Enough being 7-8 hours. When your day starts you'll be on another level of high, like really high. And you feel more organised and less pressed for time.
Pray. No matter how short. even if it's just a whisper, thank God for your life and ask Him to perfect His work in you or just to take control.
Exercise. As lazy as I can get, I love when I exercise. Adrenaline pumping through my veins, already feeling like a 10 from doing one sit-up... lol. It just feels good. It's keeping it up that I am yet to perfect. Getting there...
Write down al the things you have to do or achieve for the day.
SMILE.

And here are the ABC's of genuine happiness. Not sure why this person thinks they'd know this better than anyone else but this list is definitely on point.

Arrgh! Can't remember what blog I stole this from, probably somewhere on tumblr. Does this count for referencing?!

Moving on quickly, I was also unhappy because I lost my ipod. A very special and dear little ipod nano. Not those new touch screen square like things they call nano. A nice 5th generation purple nano i.e.

I wailed! Sulked! Stayed in bed all day with wet eyes! Wailed to the giver of the pod, whined to the potential replacer of the pod! So dramatic but that's me. Just this afternoon, while I was blogging away. I get a message on my phone. a picture of my ipod! My ipod! The one I had lost hope on finding, the one I was looking to replace... had been found! In a friend's house... Well house party, cloak room, fell out of jacket etc... sum it up). Extra happiness shared along the way. Whoopee! I shall reunite with my ipod tomorrow. I think it heard about this diet and wants me to be able to use my Nike+ tracker and its pedometer and also record voice training lessons and choir practice. Yes, I sing.

So I googled ecstatic for a pic to capture how I feel and look what I found:

Supposedly ecstatic virgins. They look like they are doing a tribal rain dance. Love the picture + this is what I currently look like anyway (size wise). Stole it from an artist's blog Ingrid Barillot. My actual emotion:

That's it for now.

Summary. Be happy.

BubblyBliss.

Thoughtful Toffee

2011-03-23T10:42:00.000Z

Rush Work

2011-03-11T01:00:00.002Z

Hmm! My week has been a good one. It literally flew out the window though. Today's already friday and it seems like just yesterday I was rocking with my girls in Club Tokyo and some random white random decided to make a pass at me. To be fair, she was hella drunk and could have easily been tagged a skanky whore from her gyrations and crotch flashing dance moves... opening her legs so wide and almost hitting a 'certain' person's head. Anyway.... it was a good night out celebration "bebi gurl's" birthday. Fast forward...

On the train home, Adele's 21 on repeat... the perfect heartbreak album. Yes, when you go through a heartbreak, sometimes you just want to drown in it. Since I broke up with him, I had not yet cried. Well... On the train in the midst of unsuspecting passengers, I wailed, wept hot tears in my glamorous neck pillow. Then I picked up the phone and called him. To say what exactly?! I don't know.

Needless to say, I have started coming to terms with the breakup even though my facebook status has not changed and someone is giving grief over it. Like really?! Who rushes someone else's "coming to terms/letting go/grieving" period. Her logic is that I am not over it that's why the status is still up. Why is that such a bad thing?! Who is to say when?! I don't see how a facebook status is the determining factor in letting go. Her logic is that me keeping the status means I'm hoping for us to get back together. Interesting theory. Start the healing from inside, in my opinion. Step by step, I will get there. No one is going to rush this process on my behalf and then I get into the next relationship with baggage. Mba!

Hopefully, Adele's "Someone Like You" will not be the story of my life... If you don't know this song boy/man/woman/girl/confused, it's probably because you spent 4 minutes of you life watching this video (click the link if you dare) and you are still trying to figure out how to make up for the lost time. It's just 4 minutes. I lost them too. Okay, enough blabbing. Here's Adele performing "Someone Like You" at the Brit Awards.... *sigh*

I feel like saying more but that's enough "pouring my heart out" for one post. Will save the rest for some other post. On a brighter note, my good friend is coming to town! Yay! See you soon!

Stay bubbly and blessed,

BubblyBliss

Hearts All Over The World

2011-02-24T00:32:00.001Z

Now Playing: Chris Brown - "With You"

*deep breath*

I start.

It ended. It died. A very precious thing. Slipped away.

I was careful. Then I was careless.

I was sure.

Then I wasn't.

*crack*

Cover it up.

*crrrrraaaccck*

Cover the cover.

*ccccrrrrraaaaaacccckkk*

And now we want to fill it up.

Gone too far. Got too deep. Hit the core...

...

... ...

...

Picking up the pieces.

Time to let go and move on.

Thoughtful Toffees

2011-02-01T08:01:00.000Z

"Sin is the dare of God's justice, the rape of His mercy, the jeer of His patience, the slight of His power and the contempt of His love."

- John Bunyan

White Chocolate and Pumpkin Seeds

2011-01-31T20:37:00.000Z

I may have overdosed on the above. I can't tell you how many packets of them I've eaten and it started off as a healthy snack and is now an obsession!!! eeeek! And did I mention I've been feeding on white chocolate too?! So much for resolutions. They are an everyday struggle. I am afraid of the cold. It has prevented me from exercising but I still try to do some in my room (if and when I remember to).

School has picked up. Literally, lifted off the ground of nothingness that is Accounting and I have never been more excited to have studied Economics! I was like a shining star today. That silly Accounting stuff is so yesterday (even though it has the most weight in the exam). Oh, did I mention that I am studying for the Chartered Financial Analyst program?! I didn't?! Oh!

In other news, I quit my job. I know!!! Something I longed for while I was unemployed. It was for the best. In honest truth, I was heading nowhere at the job. I wasn't enjoying what I was doing, any skill development I had needed had been attained a month or two in the job... My job was not challenging, I couldn't even create challenges for myself. It was that bad. It was a no-brainer in all honesty. And it is not relevant to my current career path i.e. finance. I'm really going to miss working there though. I had the most amazing colleagues. Such sweethearts and fun lovers. They are the reason i was able to stick around for soooooooo long. Well, that chapter of my life is done. So it's on to the next one.

Hmm... that's it for now... more to come shortly...

As always, remain bubbly and blessed.

xoxo

BubblyBliss

Photo Credits: www.justataste.com

Deprivation

2011-01-14T13:27:00.001Z

It's the new year, complete with new beginnings, refreshed dreams and revamped personalities. I for one, can attest to anticipating all the promise a new year offers. Most importantly for me, the world famous resolution that's always at the top of our lists: a closer walk with God/ be more spiritual... however you choose to phrase it, you get it.

I use the "Proverbs 31 Woman Ministries" devotional and it's very life-informing (not exactly the word I'd like to use but I'll carry on) and has application steps at the end of each devotion. I am actually making use of the application steps. I never used to but now that I've started, I can feel a difference. For the first time in a long time, I am taking real life application steps to establish a stronger relationship with God. You know how you very easily say: "I'll pray more; read more Bible chapters; fast; etc.," and after a while you give up, life happens, like with every other resolution on your list. A walk with God is not about how long you fast and pray or how many scriptures you read in a day. It is about having a knowledge of God, and wanting to turn it into a relationship and have a true understanding of all that He has given us in His Word.

I'm on a fast a the moment to commit the year into God's hands and get His direction and prompting in my life. While in church, my pastor mentioned that fasting is not just about giving up your food for a couple of hours or days... It is about sacrifice to God... deprivation.

Deprivation in that you forfeit or 'deprive' yourself of something you feel you cannot do without. The first thing that popped into my head was my BlackBerry instant messenger. I was like: "Noooooooooooooooo! I don't want to!" I realised it would be my sacrifice to God for the period of my fast. So I do not use my bbm for the period during the day I am fasting. I thought it was almost impossible. In all honesty: It. Was. Hard.

At the end of the day, I realised I got so much more done during work and the rest of the day, paid more attention to important stuff and was able to pray very easily. I admit I hurried to see what I had missed. Well not much! Only 12 unread messages from a contact list that is 172 people-strong. It got me thinking... I was my own distraction most of the time. I have to develop control over my use of my blackberry and over time I know I will learn to be less dependent on it. In just a few days, I am not as anxious to scroll through my phone, update my profile or send random tweets to whoever's out there looking for entertainment. I am not a puppet (like Atiku... lol). I'm energised and excited about the rest of my fast (and the rest of my life) because I know there is so much more to be discovered. I can finally say fasting for me is no longer trudging through the day to get to the bright light at the end of the tunnel with a glorious plate of rice and chicken stew with cubed fried plantain awaiting my arrival. I am proud and happy to say, I am experiencing regeneration through fasting.

Remain Bubbly and Blessed,

Miss BubblyBliss

Thoughtful Toffees

2011-01-09T22:58:00.001Z

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."

- Franklin P Jones

Is He the One? The Right One?!

2011-01-05T09:20:00.000Z

A friend sent this to me, and am at that point where I need to know. A lot of people need to know the truth and save themselves from a lifetime of hurt. So I thought I'd share this with you (nb: it's a lengthy one!):

First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one.

'What about love? Shouldn't that be the third? you ask. No, and I'll tell you why. 'The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).

The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right direction: 'Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life' (Proverbs 4:23)! Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.

Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage.

Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together.

Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage.

But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather these facts.

1. Check out the fabric Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same family - the family of God?

You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues.

You have had like experiences in your back ground. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together.

Furthermore, does he want to get married? I f you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time.

Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one.

2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends.

Scripture says: 'He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord' (Proverbs 18:22).

Note -who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them together.

At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy!

Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested.

Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: 'We love him because he first loved us' (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself.

You need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.

3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart . A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you .

4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, check out the rest of the body!

5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are l ots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.

6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.

7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? Broken relationships? Problems in making commitments --including the job market? Mood swings? Is a problem always someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.

8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. I s the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life.

A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it ! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever.

Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.

9. Complimentary. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts, compliment yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way?

This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complimentary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong.

This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too expensive!

God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals

10. Does he have a healthy love and acceptance of himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ.

If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to God, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive.

So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal ma n? Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for what they truly desired. The truth of the matter is everyone knows that anything worth having, costs and no one gets a ride in this life for free.

Our prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father God, I confess that I have not always been as careful as I should've been with my heart. From time to time, my desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the wrong hands. I now commit my heart into Your hands for safekeeping. Please help me to stop being so impulsive with what you deem so precious. As I learn to celebrate Your love for me, let me learn from Your example what a bridegroom should really be like. Help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me. As I embrace You as the Lover of my soul, keep my affections in the haven of Your own heart. As I rest in Your love, make me more discriminating of those who approach me. I ask that You take over this area of my life. Keep me from those You know would hurt my heart I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who wou ld draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that You have selected for me. Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me. Cleanse me from the temptation to typecast the men I meet according to what I see. Help me to trust in Your knowledge and lean not on my own understanding. I know that You know what is best for me; therefore I yield to Your choice. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Ladies this is something you should definitely share with a friend, whether you are single or married... It is something to think about, When you ask is 'He' the one!

The Double One

2011-01-04T11:24:00.005Z

2011...

Finally here.

2010 ended with a blast, literally. A bomb blast in Abuja that deprived me of ushering in the new year the way I traditionally do... in church. I wasn't allowed to leave the house and churches and public places in Abuja were declared unsafe. Thankfully, God's presence is not limited to the church, so I took to praising God in the confines of my bedroom. And He heard me. I am here alive and well today and can call on His name. Also, this is a prayer I am going live by throughout this year. Some you may find it beneficiary too:

Dear Lord, help me to realize that with each word I speak, I am making the choice to bless or to curse. Please help me to speak words that are pleasing to You - even when my emotions run high and my feelings beg me to betray this commitment. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

The year started with a dramatic and somewhat unpleasant twist to things. I reached my breaking point. Certain relationships turned sour, really sour. A misunderstanding... It left a bad taste in my mouth. I can't say I am happy about the way things turned out. And all this happened the first day of the new year. Well, that's life. I learnt a great deal from the experience anyway. So on to the infamous, new year resolutions:

... coming soon.

lol.

Remain bubbly and blessed,

Bubbly Bliss.

xoxo

No Excuse

2010-12-11T20:29:00.002Z

I haven't been on this blog for almost 6 months now. This one pass hiatus oh, e pass AWOL sef. Shame no gree make I explain myself. Mbok (yes oh, I'm an Ibibio girl), accept my apologies.

You know that journey we all begin at the start of the year, well it's almost the end of the year and I don't know when next I will have great internet access so here's my early review of 2010.

The weight loss mission: It was very topsy turvy this year and Janet Jackson ain'tgot nothing on me on the matter of inconstant weight gain/loss or whatever. At soem point, I did a liquid fast and successfully lost 10kg. I was exercising as well and impressed with the effort I put into it. And then it plummeted from then onwards. I simply lost self discipline. Excited by how much I had lost and how good I looked, I started eating, binge eating.... junk food only. No real food allowed. Needless to say, the weight has piled on, thankfully nowhere near my heaviest point this year... 91.7kg at 5'6"... Not a good look. Something I know is that I am not going to crash diet anymore. I want to be healthy and happy and keep it up. And this year more than ever, there was a lot of support and almost a commensurate amount of pressure. I did give up at a point, thinking to myself: "I'm fat, screw this and if how I look offends you, hug a damn transformer and if you're alive afterwards, deal with your issues in your perfect body." Very insensitive, I know. I have to be honest. I actually thought it through and realised they are only concerned about my health because how I look doesn't change anything, not even the price of fish. Hehehehe! I am in a better place right now, working on my eating habits, trying to eat healthy, having the occasional chocolate and having someone give me a serious side eye when I'm taking the 'treat yourself' clause too far.
My relationship: You already know I'm not going to say much. It has been better. I learnt this year that love is never enough, some day you're going to run out of love. I let him down. He let me down. Can we reach some common ground?
My relationship with God: I got to that point, yes that point, where you're thinking, God has definitely given up on me. Thankfully, He told me, He never did, never will. He said that I needed to learn some lessons. Like the one above. A rude awakening but I'm reminded every time of what He did for me, His beautiful exchange. He gave up His fabulous and sparkly life in heaven for me. I am forever thankful. Will forever chase after Him. He is all I have got.
Life as I knew it in 2010: What we have been told to be the norm, the course of our lives: school then a job then getting married, is not. We don't have to have that great job, be with that great man or have that dream wedding (cc: Bella Naija wedding posts) to feel fulfilled or happy. It's not a one day process, or a light bulb moment. It is something new everyday. Something you never knew about you. Finding yourself through all of the madness is the real dream come through. I am still searching. One day at a time.
Something(s) new I discovered: I am a shopaholic. There I said it. And you dare not judge me. *insert bbm 'not interested' smiley*. I am capable of shopping even when I am broke. Like buying items. Please don't ask how this is even possible. I am seeking help now. As my finances became a mess. I'm slowly putting things back in order. One 'statement jewelry' at a time. Okay, seriously, I am working on fixing things. I realised I have a loose tongue. No I did not trade secrets for fashion pieces. Loose in the sense that some insensitive words come out of my mouth and I may be rude *insert surprised bbm smiley*. This, is news to me!!!! I surprised, can you tell? It got me into more trouble than I could swallow. Well, that's the good thing I discovered, I actually listen to people when I am being corrected or being told the truth, no matter how I react.

There is much else to be discussed and I could write up an exhaustive dossier for your perusal. I beg to stop here. Gosh, I've done a lot of begging today... Had to beg my sister for credit... sigh. 2010... a year of lessons learned.

Remain Bubbly and blessed,

Ms. BubblyBliss

P.s: Pardon any typos. Needed to type this all out before something else got in the way.

Giving

2010-06-23T00:33:00.001+01:00

I was used by God to bless a lady yesterday. I was waiting at the bus stop for my bus to go home and i overheard the lady's phone conversation. *do not give me any side eyes* She was agitated and speaking loudly and anyone could easily have read the heaviness and frustration on her face. There weren't that many people at the bus stop, thankfully.

The phone conversation: She was almost crying about having no money and the person on the phone was only able to give her £40 instead of the amount she asked for. She spoke about not having money over the weekend to feed her family and her 7 year old daughter was with her. She said she had been to the crisis office (i dunno what that is) and they gave her only £80.00 for 15 days (£5.33 per day for her and her family) and she couldn't even cash the money because her i.d. was stolen along with her bus pass last week and she really needed money... Basically she had no money, was stranded and helpless. I felt so bad hearing it all and worse when I looked at her little daughter sitting and swinging legs obliviously.

I wanted to help but i had no cash on me. I had just bought oats and milk from Sainsbury's and wanted to give her but I heard a voice say giving her money would go a longer way. I had no cash on me :-(. I had to get some out from a cash machine. I could see my bus approaching the bus stop and was reluctant to go to the cash machine because the next bus would have taken forever to come. Then I heard a very clear voice prompt me: "Go to the cash machine, I will make the bus wait for you". So I rushed to the cash machine withdrew some money to give her and hoping she was not going to get on the bus so I could give it to her. I hurried back and the bus was 'waiting' for me thanks to people that appeared out of nowhere. I quickly walked to her and gave her the money and she was shocked and confused at first and her mouth barely moved when she uttered "Thank you." I walked away quickly but saw her eyes well up with tears of gratitude.

§§§

I am thankful to God for such an opportunity to help someone and it felt wonderful. Open your heart and your mind to sense an opportunity to help someone and to let God use you to bless someone. It will not take anything out of you to give.

Stay bubbly and blessed,

BubblyBliss

I Will Run

2010-06-19T11:48:00.018+01:00

When there is no one else to turn to, when all else has failed, who do we run to? When all our planning crumbles before our very eyes, why not run to the master planner, God! You know you have heard Him call, answer Him and your life will be made easy.

I am at a point of indecision and uncertainty in my life and I realised it does not have to be that way, I have God to run to. I wasn't sure what was next for me and when I realised it wasn't all about me, my prayers changed. Instead of asking God to do something for me, I now trust in His plan for me and I ask for His will to be done. I mean what else could be better than that? What is the great plan I could have made for myself that is better or greater than God's plan for me? God has captured my heart and I am happy and can sing all day about it and live life with confidence that everything is going to be alright. Have you tried God today? I dare you to!
I have never mentioned this but I am in my church's choir and we are ministering a beautiful song that touched my soul and I thought I should share with you and I hope it ministers to you like it did to me:

I WILL RUN

Yeah Hallelujah If your ready to run after God today

Only Glory...

Only your grace x2

Only you can, set me free,

Only your love, has captured my heart,

I hear you calling

Come, come, come....

So I will run, forever I will run unto you oh God now you have my heart

So I will, I will run, forever I will run, run to you oh God were else can I go,

Forever I will run

Only your love has captured my heart I hear you calling come, come, come....

So I will run forever I will run, unto you oh God now you have my heart,

So I will, I will run, forever I will run, run to you oh God where else can I go

Forever I will run

Come, come, come, x4

I hear you calling

Come, come, come, I hear you calling x3

So I will run forever I will run, unto you oh God now you have my heart,

So I will, I will run, forever I will run, run to you oh God where else can I go Forever I will run

Come, come, come, I hear you calling x3

§§§

Stay Bubbly and blessed,

BubblyBliss

Stalking

2010-06-07T13:56:00.001+01:00

Divas get stalked all the time and there's nothing exciting about that, it is very disturbing and unpleasant actually. We are surrounded by mad people and even some people we know may be mad and we don't know it. What kind of spirit makes a typically sane individual start stalking someone they know very well or know absolutely nothing about? What makes one so desperate for belonging or love that you will go to lengths to destroy friendships and relationships and eventually harm the person you are stalking in your bid to love them or for whatever ever other random reason?

I call stalking a spirit because it can be nothing less. Only evil spiritual possession can unearth such incomprehensible behaviour. And I realised the best thing to do is pray for stalkers and ask God to release them from whatever has a hold on them and also ask God to bestow them with His unfailing love and show them there is so much more that He has to offer than any man or thing in this world can give. The peace of the Lord is one of the greatest gifts God has in store for those that turn to Him. So today, I prayed for the person stalking me, didn't bother cursing the person, just prayed for God to touch the person's life and that felt good.

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayer, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the centre of you life."

Philippians 4: 6-7 (The Message Bible)

"The you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:7 (New Living Translation)

Thoughtful Toffees

2010-06-03T11:37:00.000+01:00

"Putting confidence in an unreliable person in times of trouble is like chewing with a broken tooth or walking on a lame foot."

Proverbs 25:19

Plasters and Bandages

2010-05-28T19:41:00.001+01:00

I got a major blister on my big toe after doing a 5km run (woop woop!!!) and I had to burst it (eew!) and clean it up and put a plaster over it. While in the process of disinfecting, I got thinking. Wounds, like my blister, are a personification of wounds we get from relationships. It's all fine and dandy after cleaning up and sealing with a plaster until the plaster becomes worn and slack then the wound is reopen and the same process is repeated over and over again.

In a like manner, drama and relationship dilemmas are recapitulated and seem unending. So when is enough enough? When is it okay to throw in the towel? How many "one last shots" are you gonna give it? So the healing process was all a sham? That sucks big time. It's like we keep building bridges to cross the raging rivers of agony and heartache only to fall back into them and realise that you, the renowned swimming starlet, cannot execute a single life-saving stroke! Your lungs become asphyxiated (thanks CSI...lol) and everything fades away...

How do you know when your relationship's just badly sprained and not broken? The grey horsie was really lucky.

***

So today I was toying away with html blog template editing for dummies and I was able to create a background for myself. I'm in the process of learning more about it and I love it. Such great fun and the feeling of self-satisfaction... amazing!

I know it's been a while since I blogged. Well, I have blogged now :-) and I think my blog is much prettier or what say you? Back to black or I stay patterned and unashamed.

Remain Bubbly and Blessed,

BubblyBliss.

xoxo

Dancing in the Moonlight

2010-03-31T01:28:00.004+01:00

So much is happening for me right now, doors opening everywhere. I am so thankful to God because my life is a testimony that when one drab door shuts a greater and prettier and more fabulous door opens.... hehehehe. I am dancing in the moonlight (not literally abeg oh!). I have been tapped to be part of this uber amazing project... secret stuff for now and I am thanking God for little mercies like this one.

On the other hand, I have busy looking for a means to make people happy and make money. I found a way and I'm not sharing. Just know that loadsa people are going to be happier. And what could possibly be used to achieve such a magnitude of sunshine and rainbow coloured smiles? SHOES!!!! Coming to a town near you, no, not Awka... okay, that sounded funnier in my head. Anyway, I would really love to share the details of everything but I have been instructed and advised to keep it under wraps for now. So:

♪"Come and join me sing, Hallelujah, Jehovah Jireh has done me well..."♫

Stay bubbly and blessed, appricotle kisses,

BubblyBliss.

Explicit Content: 40G

2010-03-24T22:58:00.004Z

I have finally managed to convince myself that I am random. I just googled 'walking boobs' for any possible images I could get. This one made the most sense and is kinda perfect for today's post:

My supposed bra size according to M&S. I hope your eyes grew as fat as mine when I discovered this. I got so upset. Okay for the guys... that is massive!!! Bigger than what Katie Price has got, I'm talking big... Dolly Parton kinda big ((((())))) ((((())))) - brackets are my attempt at drawing massive boobs. You might wonder why I would be so upset, well it's already frustrating that they are already big and I can't or rather wouldn't feel comfortable wearing different styles, any bigger is just damn upsetting.... How did I get to meauring my boobs?...

... It had been a while since I checked my bra size (it could change for so many reasons especially weight gain or loss) and I was measuring myself for the day (part of my weight loss plan) and I thought I should check my bra size. To my utter frustration, after following the M&S chart, I was a 40g. i SCREAMED!!! Almost cried, called my momma who only said she's not even that big so I can't be. I went to professionals instead: BRAVISSIMO!!! Bra experts and I got my correct size which is way smaller than M&S' bull sh*t. What a relief! But damn! Anyway...

On a less explicit note, I have decided to be walking to the station instead of taking a bus. The bus ride is about 5-7 minutes and the walk is 15-20 mins. Think how many calories I can burn...hehehe. In Nigeria, I would have burnt myself black today. Did the walk 3 times today. I know you've already done the math that it's meant to be 4. Had to get someone from the station to mine and he had luggage and I didn't want to frustrate him, me being Moses and all. So I enjoying it. Interestingly, my little ipod had a pedometer... I walked 13,076 steps today. I was like wow!!! A typical day I walk 3000-3500. 10,000 is a lot more. I need to keep it up! Whoop whoop for me. I just figured I could get in a little more exercise during day besides just going to the gym.

What else is there to babble about? Oh yeah, it was raining this evening and I asked God to please stop the rain in time for me to walk home and He did it. He stopped the rain and allowed me to walk home and not let me ruin my fabulous hair and my amazing day.

E don do abeg. I dey comot for hia.

Stay bubbly and blessed,

BubblyBliss.

p.s: I just looked outside my window and it's raining!!!! For those of you in doubt that He couldn't have stopped the rain for me, elah! (hahahaha) An now you know God is beyond amazing and can do just about anything for you

On things and Testimonies

2010-03-18T16:25:00.000Z

So you can smile for me now, I decided to take a step of faith and go to the home office myself and I got the surprise of my life. The people at the office were extremely nice- made me realise that call centres may be an improper representation of any organisation. Anyway, I went without an appointment. Went really early, a babe on a mission. I was the first person to be attended to and they asked if I had an appointment and I said no, they asked me to sit down and wait, I did. Eventually, an information officer called for me and asked me why I didn't have an appointment. I told him that I had tried booking online and over the telephone for so long and it was unsuccessful, so I chose to come here myself and take my chances. Okay, I didn't actually say take my chances. That is probably what I would have said if it was me speaking but I had asked the Holy Spirit to speak for the entire time. The information officer asked me to wait yet again said he will go in and check if there were any available slots for my visa category. He came back a little while later an dropped something with another officer to attend to me. In conclusion, they had an opening and attended to me and I got my visa! Yay!!!

There are a million and one reasons and more that illustrate the awesomeness of God. I love Him and His grace continually abounds in my life and I'm sos glad that I can sing, dance, shout, laugh or even cry about that. Thank you Lord! On why I haven't gotten a job yet, the time is not yet right but I'm almost there. I have been able to learn and develop new skills and passions with all my free time. So don't see your situation as what you think it is, a situation, it's a miracle/testimony about to happen. Trust God and believe in yourself.

Stay Bubbly and Blessed,

Appricotle kisses,

BubblyBliss

Here's The Thing

2010-03-10T11:14:00.001Z

If I change the domain name for my blog i lose all the comments made on previous posts and I don't wanna!!! I don't!!! And my blog will go off people's blog lists... not that I have that many followers but I value the few that have been supportive. So..... I'm confused :-s Ok, not really.

I'll stick with appricotlekisses .... odd name but I like it... It's basically apple + apricot flavoured kisses. Okay, that's enough.

I almost frustrated myself yesterday. Rather, the Home Office frustrated me yesterday. This post study work visa wahala. I have not been able to secure an appointment through their online booking system for March since January! Personally I think, it's just a hoax and you can't actually secure an appointment for the post study work visa. How do I know? I tried securing an appointment using other visa categories and it listed out both available and unavailable dates, but the post study visa page is blank. Anyway...

I finally got through to their telephone booking service after days of trying and being put on hold for at least 20 minutes (it is an 087- number by the way) and the guy I spoke to said even though it says I can on their website, I can't book an appointment for a post study visa over the phone because of changes being made to that visa category with effect from 6th April.... Err, it's the 9th of March... how does that follow or make any sense. He said that's all he can says and that I have no choice but to submit via post. He was so rude... Annoying home office guy. Oh well! Okay, it's not a matter of 'oh well', I really need to be back in Nigeria for easter. Pray for me that my postal application get back to me before then. And thus ends my mini rant. Thank you.

How's everyone been by the way? Hehehe...

Stay Bubbly and Blessed + Appricotle Kisses,

§ BubblyBliss §

I'd like...

2010-03-08T21:23:00.002Z

...change my blog address to http://portraitofadiva.blogspot.com/

When I registered the blog ages ago this address wasn't available, or so they claimed... So should I or should i not?

Thoughtful Toffees

2010-02-12T15:02:00.001Z

"The flogging will continue until morale improves"

- Unknown

Fighting A War That Never Started

2010-02-12T14:43:00.006Z

I've been thinking of what to write about... and nothing's really come up. My life has been... I don't know. See, that's the thing! I'm not sure of anything or what comes next for me. My graduation in December was amazing but I didn't realise how tough life after all the compulsory education has been completed could be.

So, this is me. Not sure. Hoping Praying. That is what I do most of the time now. I drown myself in the beauty of His Holiness. My humanity gets the best of me sometimes. There's that little doubt that keeps me from trusting Him wholly. I have fought the doubt and won. Doors have opened but because it is not happening as quickly as I want it to, you can guess who's slowly creeping back in. Yes, doubt.

*mcheeeeew*

The little idiot is trying to get in the way of God's plan for my life, but I won't let it. It ain't happening. I'm sure you are wondering what in the world I'm talking about...

I have completed my masters degree and I do not have a job yet. I don't know what to do with myself. My future's for God to decide. In the mean time, any ideas on how I can keep myself busy. There's hardly any motivation to read books. I even started a 5-a-day plan for my job applications but you can guess how that is going, ha! I'm at war with my own mind. I'm at war because my mind seems to have stopped working. I have begged it oh and begged. E no wan hear word. Well, mind, you better go and get you armour. It's war.

Fighting laziness.
Fighting depression.
Fighting boredom.
Fighting indecisiveness.
Fighting hurt.
Fighting aloofness.

As I was thinking just now, I just realised this war is already lost. The ideology of war to me, makes no sense at all. How do you fight a war to achieve peace and unity? It's not logical. One party probably just gets tired of fighting and surrenders but is still full of resentment. How does violence beget peace. I guess I have to be diplomatic with my mind. I was fighting a war that never started.

I have only one choice to make. Wake up!

Thoughtful Toffees

2009-12-07T12:05:00.002Z

"We are so aware of what we don't have that we forget we have God on our side"

- Pastor Taiwo

Thoughtful Toffees

2009-11-11T11:20:00.002Z

"Never think that God's delays are God's denials. Hold on; hold fast; hold out. Patience is genuis."

-Comte de Buffon

Thoughtful Toffees

2009-11-10T21:17:00.008Z

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness"

- Robert Muller

Everything

2009-11-03T01:31:00.006Z

He said/sang/wrote these words to me:

You're a falling star, you're the get away car.

You're the line in the sand when I go too far.

You're the swimming pool, on an August day.

And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy but it's kinda cute.

Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.

Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true.

'cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times

It's you, it's you, you make me sing.

You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,

And you light me up, when you ring my bell.

You're a mystery, you're from outer space,

You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,

And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.

Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,

And you know that's what our love can do.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times

It's you, it's you, you make me sing.

You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're every song, and I sing along.

'Cause you're my everything.

Yeah, yeah

Y'all need to listen to this song, Everything by Michael Buble. :o)

p.s: New post coming soon

Blonde Wigs and Cheap Boots

2009-10-31T01:11:00.005Z

Please don't despair, that was not my halloween outfit. Don't even expect me to say happy halloween to you. The only reason I'm sure people celebrate the damn day is so that they can get to be kids again and play dress up and men can wear dresses with a good excuse even though it has always been their secret fantasies to prance around in pink and white tulle dresses giggling and fluttering where possible. That aside.

I see no need to celebrate halloween. What's it's purpose really? Especially when everyday is halloween for Rihanna (yes, I went there). Maybe it's a good excuse to buy a lifetime supply candy and pretend to wait for kids 'trick-or-treating' while stuffing my mouth with every possible flavour of candy and chocolate. Something is clearly wrong with me. I love candy and it's making me unhealthy. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, about the blonde wigs... I wasn't trying to disguise myself from an ex-boyfriend whose car windscreen I bashed. Yep, i relived Jasmine Sullivan's hit song! Okay I kid, no such thing happened. Maybe it would have if there was an ex (don't ask any questions). By now you should know there's no exciting story to the blonde wigs if it's taken me this long to explain myself. Basically, two little cousins of mine are attending a Hannah Montana themed party and must dress like her. So their darling aunty/cousin took it upon herself to go on a shopping spree in the Disney store buying their outfits from head to toe, and I mean head to toe. I felt like such an 'agbaya' and the girl at the till babbled about how I must be getting my christmas present shopping done early and how meticulous I am for consulting my list and ticking away... if she only knew! She also convinced me to add a stuffed Mickey Mouse for 1/3 its regular price because I had spent over £100.00 in a Disney store, a freaking Disney store...sigh! So I said what the heck and took Mickey along for their baby sister. Let her have something too, right? Plus it was a good deal... yes women and bargains!

Moving on...

Cheap boots... I saw a pair of knee length boots in Faith and wanted the so badly but they were well over my non-existent budget. While I was out shopping today, I found the exact same pair in a little boutique that probably takes pride in copying high street shoes design because I could actually tell which shop they copied what design from ( Yes, I am a shoe addict). Anyway the same boots were exactly 1/4 of the price. A dream come to for any shopaholic... a bargain! It was all fine and dandy until I wore the shoe. The shoes were so slippery, had no grip at all and felt like I had roller blades on. I actually glide on the store floors in them... talk less of the snow or on a rainy day. I guess there's a reason they were that cheap. It's all about quality and satisfaction and the boots were definitely not made for walking, it's the one thing they don't do.

Precious words to leave you pondering:

Your life is God's gift to you: what you do with it is your gift to God

Enough said. It's bed time for me anyway and my internet is acting up. If I accidentally lose this post, I am not going to bother with writing another one. This one took long enough to write.

As usual, stay bubbly and blessed!

BubblyBliss.

P.s: I have been busy house hunting and have finally found one. Excited about moving and decorating my own place. It's my little art project.

22 and so much more

2009-10-22T01:38:00.004+01:00

I am now 22 years old. Officially a 'big girl' just because I am no longer 21. I was 21 for so long and so much happened... good, bad, ugly, beautiful, horrible, amazing... but all that is behind me. I embraced 22 with my wobbly arms and a degree of uncertainty not sure what the future holds but most certain that I am going to be successful. Thing is, how do I go about it? Where do I start from?

Is there any rule that states exactly where you should begin. Get a job... given. What of everything else, self contentment, the unsureness, even for something as trivial as my weight. Yes, I now realise HOW unimportant that is in the midst of a gazillion big decisions and the looming question that still remains unanswered: "WHAT NEXT?" That's not to say that going from a dress size 10/12 to 16 (yes I am now that big) in the span of 12 months is not catastrophic, I mean, it is, but there is more to life quite frankly. And I am sure that will take care of itself. It always has and it will.

I have never forgotten that I have God in the midst of all this obscurity. I keep reminding myself that my dreams are real and all I need to do is just believe. A lot of the time things look bleak. I am so used to knowing what comes next. From secondary school to uni to nysc to my masters and now I'm done and... It takes all these little things to remind me of the privilege of breezing through my education and now a real life challenge has slapped me back to reality. Yes yes, you might be thinking it is just the overly dramatic diva in me blowing things out of proportion but really it isn't. I acknowledge that the 'diva' is worried too.

So I chose 22 as a landmark year in my life, no grand celebration to commemorate another year in the life, but the year I transform into the woman God created me to be. So, this time around I am going to do things differently. I have learnt change is constant and if you go about dealing with things a certain way and it has not produced your desired result, try... something new.

Be bubbly and blessed,

BubblyBliss.

P.s: this post was going to be extra long but someone came and interrupted my train of thought. Oh well, some other time.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

2009-10-01T17:12:00.002+01:00

I just had to! I looooooooooooooooooove Nigeria. Happy independence day to all Nigerians and anyone else who has any affiliations whatsoever, including all you Nollywood loving and pure water drinking, fan yogo sucking and gala consuming foreigners.

Freedom, peace and unity.

p.s: pardon my m.i.a status, new post coming soon

Yes and No!

2009-08-03T18:12:00.003+01:00

It's been such a long time and God has been merciful to my wretched little soul :-) Oh how I love Him. He is the perfect daddy.

This is a temporary goodbye... Okay, no goodbyes, just SEE YOU SOONs and TTYLs.

That dissertation needs to be done. My supervisor just reported me to the Director of Studies who happens to be my personal tutor. I have to work overtime. Don't get me wrong I have been working, mostly reading though which explains why I have not handed anything in, in the past month. Gone off facebook (technically and mentally)... I have to tweet occasionally, so twitter stays. For the next few days the follow words will occupy my thoughts: Niger Delta crisis, conflict, civil society and conflict resolution.

Am I still allowed to go see "Coco before Chanel"? I mean, she is more than a fashion icon, she is Mademoiselle Chanel. She made short hairdos and wearing trousers fashionable for women. The 'Coco before Chanel' movie is compulsory for the 'fashion illiterate' including those that think Rihanna is a fashion/style icon. Her 'edgy' look gets somewhat boring. In Coco's words:

"Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance"

The words speak for themselves and the Chanel label.

On my way back to school in that beautiful Roman town, the train broke down, well its brakes failed. Thoughts in my head... the Taking of Pelham 123... (a great movie you must see to understand). Yes, I let that imagination run wild a lot of the time.

Passed some 'moos' grazing on a farm and thought "Why oh why does a certain someone I know have an 'indescribable-bordering-on-disturbing' love for cows?!" I mean, what happened to dogs?

Ladies, friends are getting married, time is no longer on your side. What are you waiting for? Oh, true! You have to be ready and he has to put a ring on it... no rush!

Put in a word for me with God when next you talk to Him, I need that amazing dream job of mine (yes, I believe it will soon be mine). I just need more people to intercede for me. I'm sure God understands. I'm His child after all.

This week is pray for the family week. Coming to think of it, every week is.

I sure missed and will miss you all.

Stay bubbly and blessed,

BubblyBliss.

mISSINg YOU!

2009-07-12T20:12:00.003+01:00

I am sorry for disappearing so abruptly. So it's been like two weeks?! WOW! Oh how I have missed catching up on my blog rolls...sigh... No, I'm not back on the regular just yet. So this is me saying see you later.

Hope everyone's enjoying summer. For me, it's been so good to be back with family and my lover...hehehe!

Blog soon. Till then, stay bubbly and blessed!

xx

(title unavailable)

2009-06-27T21:51:00.003+01:00

Don't you just love it when you get hyperactive and feel overly serious with yourself. I know I do! So today I decided to get off my lazy bum and, no not jog, read! Yes I read a whole chapter of this uber lengthy report and now I'm heading for the 2nd and 3rd chapters. Combatting laziness. Take that, slothful one!

When I was tired of reading, I took a break and strolle to tesco to do my grocery shopping and came back and cooked dinner. Jollof rice and grilled chicken. Good living and healthy eating :)
By the way, I climbed a scale and it stated that I have lost weight... a kilogram to be more precise.It is quite strange because I feel heavier than usual. Oh well... so there you go... a teeny weeny bit of progress with my weight loss.

Back to work. Stay bubbly and blessed.

x

Message

2009-06-24T12:14:00.001+01:00

"Laziness grows on people; it begins in cobwebs and ends in iron chains."
-Brewer, abolitionist, social reformer and English Member of Parliament Sir Thomas Buxton

Bloggers have no right to privacy

2009-06-17T22:38:00.002+01:00

Yep! We have no right to privacy under the British law. Click here for the link. So anyone can choose to investigate who you are and you can't slam them with a lawsuit for invasion of privacy...demmit! Like I owuld really go to that length... No one should feel threatened in any way and resort to abandoning their blogs please, especially the 'controversial' ones that have chosen to remain anonymous. Oh crap! I'm babbling

x

In typical stan fashion...

2009-06-16T20:52:00.007+01:00

I present you Beyonce's new video, Broken-hearted Girl

I admit it is boring!

Coffee Shops

2009-06-16T17:47:00.001+01:00

Am I the only one that goes to a coffee shop and does not order some form of coffee. Could I be the only one that has selected a certain coffee shop as my designated reading area just because no work seems to be geting done in my room? Am I the only one that fears that I will be kicked out of this coffee shop the day I decide to decorate the window seat as 'my spot'?

I absolutely love the smell of coffee and the busyness of the coffee shop...vibrant enough and still not disquieting. It is sunny outside but I choose not to lie down and read in the park for one: fear of grass allergies, had a nasty one the other week and fear of falling asleep in the warmth of the sun then waking up 11 shades of grey...no way!

This week I have lost some weight without even trying :) Sometimes the stress of thinking can make you lose weight. I'm serious. And I haven't been in my room that often so that helps too and I have no food at home...so maybe these are the reasons I have lost weight. I promise not to celebrate the loss because I will pig out if I do. I'm happy with my lack of food and living on cherries :D

An evil friend tried to tempt me with Hagen-Daaz strawberry shortcake icecream... it won't work!!!! I'm sure I misspelt the icrecream name... just googled it... Haagen-Dazs. Can you call me shameless for googling everything? I really can't imagine life without google. How would you know about Natasha Suliman, strange illnesses (swine flu doesn't count) and the gift of the urban dictionary, I digress...

Random thought:
Controversial issue thanks to perez hilton...the gays! It's like any opposition to the idea of being gay is the new racism. I have no problem with the gays except that dude at the MAC counter that thought I was buying green eye shadow to match my kermit the frog tshirt and felt a need to announce this as being cute while poking at kermit (who was obviously across my chest)...mchew. But Perez has drawn my attention to them again and again and yesterday was it. I had a choice to look or not to look and I looked. I looked at the controversial photos of Dustin Lance on perez's blog (he has now removed the extremely racy photos) and they made me so damn uncomfortable. Gay sex/ anal sex must hurt, full stop. I have no interest in finding out for sure.

Moving on,

I'm still at the coffee shop and there's nowhere to plug in my laptop and my batteries low, I'd better not lose my randomest post yet...guess it's time to go...x

Breathe Slow

2009-06-05T23:00:00.000+01:00

Lying down is bed is what I have been doing all day, everyday. Harbouring unnecessary anxiety too... Be anxious for nothing, I know. But I really do not know what's next. Job applications have never been more tiring + having to think about another masters degree...sigh

Breathe slow...with my eyes closed... (no Alesha Dixon, these are not your words)

I'm doing this a lot more often and frankly, it's made me lazy. I need to get my sorry ass out of this 4 blue walls (yes, i know, blue...ewww) and get on with living. I'm broke and need to get a part time job but no one seems to be hiring. I'm not going to jeopardize my chances by thinking about that. Taking th ehunt to the streets tomorrow. HA! And then there are full time job applications to worry about and writing a synopsis for my dissertation and meeting with my supervisor who by the way everyone thinks is uber-gorgeous. He is voice and accent is cool though...and having a meeting with the said supervisor...oh I already mentioned that.

My body and mind have not been functioning at the same pace. My mind's thinking expeditiously even though not always about things that matter and my body's being a drag. Right now I think I know how old people feel. Their desperation to be activity marred by this now inglorious shell of a body. Mine's not getting that way anytime soon though...just saying...

A lot of things are bad for you waistline including chocolate and chicken. This befuddles my intelligence. How can something so good be so bad at the same time? How can chocolate taste that right? So, now I want to start wearing beautifully coloured jigidas (not exactly a weight loss remedy for chunky monkeys like me). Anyway, I'll need about a dozen...Abuja here I come, Mallams be prepared...lol. Okay this has a lot more to do with the fact I get to go home really soon (grinning out of my mind right now) than jigidas. But I will be watching that waist line- boring joke ahead- might even hire security guards :D Overexcited!

Weight loss has been crappy this week...no longer go to the gym due to certain circumstances (refer to the 2nd paragraph) and my boobs have grown bigger...didn't think that possible. I'm no Dolly Parton, neither am I Jordan/Katie Price but come on...i don't need any more. I'm working on it though, so no worries, fret not!

Many other things literally racing through my mind, won't bother going into boring detail before you think i'm crazy (though I know a few people who think so already). On my mind: school, money, family, friends, boo, life, money, hapiness, the future...so close but so far away.

Breathe slow...

Apathy

2009-06-01T17:38:00.002+01:00

The sun never looked more beautful
And today, I stare right back at it
Feelingless

Beach sand seeping through my feet
Iridescent luster of the sea,
Still, emptiness

At least I can acknowledge these...

My breath, breathless
My strength, strengthless
My voice, voiceless
My heart, heartless
My dreams, dreamless
My joy, joyless
My smile, ...

Still,

I breathe,
I have strength,
I speak and you listen
I feel blood in my veins, oh, it's my heart
I dream
Joy unspeakable, I have

Because He is, I am.

Was feeling down in the dumps...

2009-05-26T23:57:00.016+01:00

...and a friend sent this, among a couple of hilarious youtube clips, to cheer me up! ENJOY!

Virgin: The World's Best Passenger Complaint Letter?

REF: Mumbai to Heathrow 7th December 2008

I love the Virgin brand, I really do which is why I continue to use it despite a series of unfortunate incidents over the last few years. This latest incident takes the biscuit.

Ironically, by the end of the flight I would have gladly paid over a thousand rupees for a single biscuit following the culinary journey of hell I was subjected to at thehands of your corporation.

Look at this Richard. Just look at it:

I imagine the same questions are racing through your brilliant mind as were racing through mine on that fateful day. What is this? Why have I been given it? What have I done to deserve this? And, which one is the starter, which one is the desert?

You don’t get to a position like yours Richard with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the tomato next to the two yellow shafts of sponge on the left. Yes, it’s next to the sponge shaft without the green paste. That’s got to be the clue hasn’t it. No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato would they. Well answer me this Richard, what sort of animal would serve a desert with peas in:

I know it looks like a baaji but it’s in custard Richard, custard. It must be the pudding. Well you’ll be fascinated to hear that it wasn't custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. It’s only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter. Perhaps the meal on the left might be the desert after all.

Anyway, this is all irrelevant at the moment. I was raised strictly but neatly by my parents and if they knew I had started desert before the main course, a sponge

shaft would be the least of my worries. So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what’s on offer.

I’ll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it’s Christmas morning and you’re sat their with your final present to open. It’s a big one, and you know what it is. It’s that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.

Only you open the present and it’s not in there. It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing. That’s how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this:

Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking it’s more of that Baaji custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It’s mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month. On the left we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown glue-like oil and on the right the chef had prepared some mashed potato. The potato masher had obviously broken and so it was decided the next best thing would be to pass the potatoes through the digestive tract of a bird.

Once it was regurgitated it was clearly then blended and mixed with a bit of mustard. Everybody likes a bit of mustard Richard.

By now I was actually starting to feel a little hypoglycaemic. I needed a sugar hit. Luckily there was a small cookie provided. It had caught my eye earlier due to it’s baffling presentation:

It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn’t want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.

I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was relax but obviously I had to sit with that mess in front of me for half an hour. I swear the sponge shafts moved at one point.

Once cleared, I decided to relax with a bit of your world-famous onboard entertainment. I switched it on:

I apologise for the quality of the photo, it’s just it was incredibly hard to capture Boris Johnson’s face through the flickering white lines running up and down the screen. Perhaps it would be better on another channel:

Is that Ray Liotta? A question I found myself asking over and over again throughout the gruelling half-hour I attempted to watch the film like this. After that I switched off. I’d had enough. I was the hungriest I’d been in my adult life and I had a splitting headache from squinting at a crackling screen.

My only option was to simply stare at the seat in front and wait for either food, or sleep. Neither came for an incredibly long time. But when it did it surpassed my wildest expectations:

Yes! It’s another crime-scene cookie. Only this time you dunk it in the white stuff.

Richard…. What is that white stuff? It looked like it was going to be yoghurt. It finally dawned on me what it was after staring at it. It was a mixture between the Baaji custard and the Mustard sauce. It reminded me of my first week at university. I had overheard that you could make a drink by mixing vodka and refreshers. I lied to my new friends and told them I’d done it loads of times. When I attempted to make the drink in a big bowl it formed a cheese Richard, a cheese. That cheese looked a lot like your baaji-mustard.

So that was that Richard. I didn’t eat a bloody thing. My only question is: How can you live like this? I can’t imagine what dinner round your house is like, it must be like something out of a nature documentary.

As I said at the start I love your brand, I really do. It’s just a shame such a simple thing could bring it crashing to it’s knees and begging for sustenance.

Yours Sincererly

XXXX

Paul Charles, Virgin’s Director of Corporate Communications, confirmed that Sir Richard Branson had telephoned the author of the letter and had thanked him for his “constructive if tongue-in-cheek” email. Mr Charles said that Virgin was sorry the passenger had not liked the in-flight meals which he said was “award-winning food which is very popular on our Indian routes.”

WELL, IT CHEERED ME UP ENOUGH TO WANT TO POST IT...THANK YOU FRIEND :-)

Source

Aha!

2009-05-24T15:51:00.007+01:00

So today is the d-day after a week of staying faithful to my healthier life style. I climb the scal and I'm actually nervous. So.... it read.... 81.5kg!!!! Yay!!! The diva is getting it done. Kicking the s*** outta fat and wobbly bits.

But....

Many many many hours later after church and returning from the gym and swimming.... I climbed my scale again and it read 80.8kg...hmm. Being realisitc because I know you don't just lose 0.7kg in a day...I climbed it again and it read 81.8kg

and again 82.3kg

and again 81.5kg

and again...well you get the point....my scale is bonkers!!! It gave me about 3 other different weights. I guess I'm somewhere between 80.8kg and 82.3kg (my weight last week, though I'm certain I lost weight). I can't lie to myself so tomorrow, I will weigh myself at the gym and change the stupid ass batteries of my scale, hopefully that is the problem. So much for fancy glass looking scales....mchew!

God's word for today: Ephesians 2

It's all about family and reminds us that we were not created to be alone and that is why we were born into families. Even if you have lost all of your earthly relations, yu will always be a part of God's family, the Church. Do not be overwhelmed by your own independence and forget God and your family. Dependence and love is what our union with Christ is all about.

And remember this:

"For it is by God's grace that you have been saved through faith. It is not a result of your own efforts, but God's gift, so that no one can boast about it."
Ephesians 2:8-9

Stay bubbly and blessed!

x

I get...

2009-05-22T01:49:00.005+01:00

...overly excited whenever I achieve something big or little like perfecting the posting of videos on my blog. Plus I am a very visual person so I love videos!!! Next one, Brick and Lace... BAD TO DI BONE! I promise to calm down after this.

ALERT!!!! RANDOM MOMENT:
I need to be up early today so I can meet Marks and Spencer's 5 things for 5p sale. Unbelievable I know...ok not everything is on sale. But getting good underwear that cheap especially bras because I have big boobs (ok T.M.I) would be amazing!!! And you know how the DD cup and above have 2 pounds extra to their prices because of overhead costs (M&S's flimsy excuse)...a bra for 1p...or french knickers or...oh underwear heaven!!! There are other things included in the 1p sale but I just want underwear. Today's the last day...sigh

UPDATE: So I went for the sale and... ofcourse bras were not included in the sale. Should have known it was too good to be true. They had just black french knickers...so not too bad. What else did I get? Let's see... from their list of items that had not already sold out... A big chocolate coin, a brooch (a very pretty one btw), a mug and a tea towel... Yes! 5p for all of this...I know it's not much but the idea of bringing out the smallest coin to pay...what joy! Only a shopaholic could sound like this :D Oh and they were given out vouchers and 16 lucky people could win 12,500 pounds each...why don't I get such luck. I know I will some day! I got the voucher that gives a 12.5% discount on purchases over 30 pounds...hmmph!

Too much...I talk like this coz I can back it up!

2009-05-21T20:11:00.009+01:00

YES! YES! YES! YES!!! Just after I blogged about Beyonce releases the video of "EGO". Yes, yes click on it and enjoy. She released it this afternoon. I must be some sort of stan to know this especially since we don't live in the same time zone. Sigh!

click here to watch!!!
click here to watch!!!
click here to watch!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!! Bless her heart.

x

UPDATE: You can watch it here now:

At first the video was too big for my blog and no one wants a clumsy blog post. I had to alter it somehow. So, I just changed the width indicated in the embed link and it worked. Wow!!! I didn't know I could do that :)

P.S: My eating and sleeping habits have improved tremendously :D Hopefully it will show when I weigh in on Sunday (fingers crossed)

No she didn't!!!

2009-05-17T22:06:00.006+01:00

Quick question (s)....

Have you listened to Beyonce's album "I am...Sasha Fierce"? If yes, then you've probably listened to her song "Ego"...

Now my actual question is... Was she really talking about her man's ego or...? HMM... You gotta love this song, ego or not! :)

If you have not listened to "Ego", please do! click to listen: Ego

P.s: He famously said "I don't wear skinny jeans 'cause my nuts don't fit!!!" hehehe... Just saying!

OKAY!!!

2009-05-17T13:12:00.003+01:00

I know it has been a bit of a while, but the ton of work and stress I have had to deal with in the past weeks...is killing. Well this is just a quick post on my weight loss journey...progress so far? None and I admit that is totally my fault.

Confessions

1. Went for dinner with a couple of friends and I shamelessly pigged out on pizza, garlic bread, fanta (still can't believe i had a fizzy drink...shet men!!!) and a slice of chocolate fudge cake...how damaging is that?!!!
2. I have ate a couple of sweets this week....I really dunno how to deal without sweets, it's tough but I am fighting.
3. Went to the gym only two times this week. "All together now": SHAME, SHAME, SHAME...SHAME!!!! hehehe...i needed that.
4. Thanks to all of this I gained back the kilo I lost and more. Now I weigh...wait for it........... 82.3KG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(SHET)

How the hell did I get to that?! Even though I do not look it, I am not taking chances. Even though I am still a size 12, some changes have to be made. I have cut down on what I eat already, so it's time to deal with the sleeping.

My sleeping habit is a mess!!! Yes a freaking mess!!! I am up all night, most times doing course work and sometimes unproductive stuff and I sleep during the day. It's because of my bad sleeping habits that I went to the gym only two times in the past week, actually 1 and a half times because I did only half of my usual work out the 2nd time. I was really not in the mood that day and went to the gym to calm my nerves, didn't work. Almost broke down half way through my work out. So I got up and left....mcheeeeeeeeeew! The dark days are already passing away, so I'm fine again. Thank God for that.

Going swimming tomorrow again...and I'm saying this now, I am not going to the gym tomorrow for genuine reasons: dental surgery in the morning, that's going to hurt even with the anaesthetic, and swimming in the evening and yes oh yes, my course work at night...sigh...what a life!!! I promise to be good this week. And it must show on my scale at the end of the week. I'll report here next week I promise. Maybe I should read the fatbusters blog for motivation...hmm...

Glacial Pace

2009-05-11T16:28:00.003+01:00

is how doing this weight loss thing the healthy way feels. I have been going to the gym and eating healthy for a week now, and I have lost 1kg according to the scales...I DON'T SEE IT STILL!!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! All I see are flabs and fold and wobbly bits that I need to be rid of. I will be patient because it is step by step. Did not go to the gym today...I know, I should have. To be fair, I am going swimming in a bit :) See I am good!

Running the treadmill has been stress I shall not lie, but I have created a rountine for mysel in the gym where I do rounds of each exercise so that I do not get bored and please music is essential to exercise if you do not want to lose your mind!

Special K keeps me full most of the day and I do not get hunger pangs as often as I used to. As part of the diet, I have promised myself to stop declaring "I'm hungry" even when I'm not. Is it only me or do we tend to just say that phrase by default...that phrase and "I'm tired"...such a lazy bum.

Church yesterday!!! Wonderful!!! The pastor preached about having causes, and put up two boards where we can come and scribble our causes anytime during the week and at the end of the month, we will pray together as a family for their fulfillment. His questions were: What is your cause in life? What are you most passionate about? What do you live for? (and a few others). Naturally, the questions got me thinking... SO, this week, I am on a mission to discover my cause and what I am most passionate about. I always thought I had a cause but being successful and having an amazing career is not exactly a cause. School has taken so much of my time I do not think about anything else, not really.

Well, what's your cause? And what are you most passionate about? What do you live for? Looking forward to your answers...

Later!

ps: All's well in my paradise :)

Hmm

2009-05-06T04:19:00.009+01:00

Much better now thank you. And back to the madness that is course work and everything else. Many things to say but little time.

Anyway, UP MAN UTD!!!

Secondly, course work is killing me

Thirdly, I upset my sweetheart. Yes, I have a sweetheart.

Fourthly, I want to go home. There's no place like home. I need Dorothy's magic slippers right about now. If Mr. Louboutin could just make shoes of such resplendence and magic...I would purchase em without further ado and click my way home...sigh...there's no place like home.

Fifthly, I upset my sweetheart. Yeah, I know I said that already but I feel awful.

Finally, for your reading pleasure:

http://top25plus.net/blog/?p=84

Enjoy!

x

Strength...

2009-04-30T02:26:00.002+01:00

...is what I need right now! Trying hard to cope with my loss. Difficult to sleep. Have to finish my course work and no I will not ask for an extension.

Thank You Jesus, thank You Heavenly Father because I know she is at home with You even though I miss her. Give me strength, Lord.

x

p.s: Anyone know comforting bible verses. I would not mind a few right now. Bless you.

Divas, Diets and Kimmy

2009-04-28T03:56:00.004+01:00

A diva is a female version of a hustler! Huh?! Scratch that!!!

di·va (dv)
n. pl. di·vas or di·ve
1. An operatic prima donna.
2. A very successful singer of nonoperatic music

Is that clear enough now? These misconceptions of who divas or dive are, is a tad offensive. I cannot sit down (and I won't stand up) and watch people misinterprete all that I embody. I have worked so hard to get a voice this perfect and you dare to call me the female version of a hustler?! Nehi!!!

Moving on...

Got more reading and course work done today yay!!! About the weight loss and living healthy and all o' that...well I'm going to start swimming classes next week and resume my gym membership. Afterall, they have been taking the direct debits...damn fitness first...hungry a** n*****!!! This special K diet is... special!!! I'm still at it. Thankfully it does not require me starving! I remember going on the Master Cleanse diet, my first diet ever, some time March and losing 6kg in 12 days...AMAZING!!! I know. So I sort of became an advocate for the diet...advising friends and all...bah!!!
Well I can reassure you, you will gain it all back and maybe more. Beyonce did!(i know the biatch will always look like some goddess...i must hate). Anyway, once you are done with that diet you will find out half the weight your lose is water weight and the rest...fat I guess. I lost my ass while I was hoping to lose my tummy....mchew!
So progress is not when the scales say you've dropped loadsa pounds...it's when your waistline does...I'm aiming for that now...the healthy way! And when I'm done I'll look like Kimmy... Yes that Kimmy... incredible Kim Kardashian! I love! Now that is hotness personified.

And in the words of Meryl Streep...

That's all!

x

I'm blessed

2009-04-24T06:51:00.002+01:00

I know it's the cliche phrase that most celebrities use to depict the depth of their riches, fame and glory. Bah!!! Anyway, I am blessed. God loves me so so so so so much. Through this healthier lifestyle thingy I decided to undertake, I realised I have struggled will self discipline and self will for soooooooooooo long. Dang! Lack of these have not only affected my waist line, but my purse, and school work. I haven't done the teeniest-weeniest bit of work since March until today that is(and I am supposed to be a student.
I vexed oh! I have had enough of my own lazy ass. So after my class dinner today that involved one too many glasses of wine + 2 cocktails I had at the bar we went to afterwards (see the lack of purse-discipline!), I decided to go to the library after wards. Yes!!! this baby actually got her tipsy ass up to the library and worked the rest of the night. Got home about an hour ago and needless to say I am proud of myself. Time to go to bed now because I have to be up in about 3 hours because I have a dental appointment. Gotta get my mouth fixed...hehehe

Good morning/night

xoxo

P.S: still totally weird how 8pm looks like midday...can't get used to it

I was never just a girl

2009-04-21T00:37:00.001+01:00

I was so much more
All i wanted was your love
You said it but barely ever showed it

Actions spoke louder than words
It's the reason i let you go

You may never understand, someday you will
Or maybe not
The picture was never as it seemed
Its resolution a cloudless diamond
But we chose to close our eyes

We were in love....or what we thought being in love to be...

Nothing could've have gotten in the way
or so we thought
Life did...
...it's still in the way
I'm still a puzzle that you almost figured

Letting go....

Someday, maybe we can work this out
Maybe we will finally open our eyes
And see life for what it is
A slight tilt to the right might be the answer
But what if a leftward glance is what we need...

Alas! my dear
Safe you will always be
My love you will always have
Our friendship we will always cherish
It happened all too fast...

Let the fun begin!!!

2009-04-19T21:45:00.002+01:00

So I started my healthy living today...the Special K way...hehehe. I'm trying the optimistic approach, so I think of this weight loss thing as fun (and a necessity). I never used to have breakast and you know that crappy talk of breakfast being the most essential meal...well it is kinda true from what I discovered today. Really? Yeah!!! I did not have any of my 'crazy cravings' today. Went through the day without chocolates or sweets. Had a sandwich and milkshake the rest of the day... That's the other issue. I get so peckish so I'm used to many small meals as against three basic ones. So now I'm pecking on apples, bananas and clementines or rather rather tagerines if you prefer. Did no exercise at all... very unimpressive...i know!
Whatever else?

Umm, I did some retail therapy yesterday. I was good...seriously, I was! :-D...a shoe and two dresses and maybe a little online shopping..i know, i know!!! To be fair, the shoes were blue and I have no blue shoes in my wardrobe...the dresses? Hmm, no real excuse besides the fact they were on sale! The shopes were on sale too. They were all good deals. I love shopping, I heart fashion. But I can't do that much shopping if I intend to lose weight... the clothes will never fit :-( A bag will always fit right though...hmm!!! I think I need a new bag...Oh shit!!! My rent's due tomorrow... I'm going to be broke! DADDY!!! Come to my rescue please!!! I need to stop looking up to my parents for everything. I have money of my own coming to think of it. Just can't remember where I kept it. Mchew...I bought stocks!!! arrrrrrrrrgh! Stoooooooooopid credit crunch... Is it me or does credit crunch sound like the name of some biscuit...lol...just playing!

Enough babbling!!! Lectures resume tomorrow and I have so many deadlines, at least I have no exams...the joy of the perfect MSc programme. School!!! I hate school. Seriously!!! I thought this MSc was going to be the last but nehi!!! Father hates my course and would rather me do another MSc...I would love to if he did all the reading and coursework and exams...chai!! School dey tire pesin! I know my pidgin is crap but I try....

That's all.

A minute

2009-04-19T01:37:00.002+01:00

Time spent, wondering what am I going to do with myself. Why not just get up and get going. I've been lying down in the same spot for 4 days (ok not really, went running once) and I finally got up and got round to doing something today...shopping. Imagine the greatest past time in the world. But why oh why do I have to spend money. I have other issues to deal with...I AM OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Borderline obese...not kidding!

So I'm going to working on that from now on and this blog will cover bits of my journey to good health... It's more than losing weight and being healthy...I'm going to address my self-will and determination and focus and how to deal. No not deal drugs silly!!! How to deal with life!

x

p.s: Coukldn't think of a reasonable heading so this should do. :-)

Bleed to Blossom

2008-11-27T14:42:00.002Z

A prick of a pin is all it took
Succulent overflows of brilliance and bliss
Bursting through her supple flesh
'Gently' she said 'lest i bleed'
And her soft plea he chose to heed
Full of vim he drew from her
He rose above the tangent waves
That dared to take his mind to darker days
...
A lodestar he has become
Galaxies trailing behind his glorious steps
Thoughts of her shall forever linger
Supernova she was, is and will always be
And left to blossom his seed, her core

the trouble with love...part II

2008-08-08T14:39:00.000+01:00

I thought it couldn't get any worse. I thought i wouldn't have to wait that long. But i did...literally minutes turned to hours to days to months to a life time...

...i am still here. I've never felt as lost as i do right now. He came back finally, but now i dunno which way to turn. He's tryna show me the way but i'm too scared not sure i wanna go down that road again...at least not with him (i'm still very unsure), not right now, not just yet...

i know everybody laughs, everybody cries....that's the thing about love. we've gotta trust, we've gotta try, we've gotta take chances.

i know the blog's been so gloomy and love smitten and love sick but that's really what's going on with me. It's not just about him, it's about friends...a lot's been going on around me. I can't call this a spurt of creative juice...it's impulse, an outburst of emotions, tryna channel it into words but not even saying half of what i'm feeling...

Where Do We Go From Here

2008-08-07T15:20:00.001+01:00

(My man man don't want me no more; He said he's needing his time to clear his mind, meanwhile i'm losing mine...)

We're at the crossroads my dear
Where do we go from here?
Maybe you won't go, maybe you'll stay
Oh I know I'm gonna miss you either way
It's such a lonely road

Where do we go from here?
(All I can do is)Follow the tracks of my tears

When i cry your name, am i calling in vain?
Or am i waiting only to drown in pain
Oh! Don't you do it, no, don't you leave me this way
I don't know if i can lift my head and face another day
Ooh, it's such a lonely road

Usually not the kind of girl who's lost and looking for direction
Who could this be staring at me
When i'm looking in the mirror tryna find a resolution
Are we too far gone to find our way home?

The trouble with love is...

2008-06-24T16:51:00.000+01:00

Yeah, you know that amazing guy i told y'all about that i'm so in love with. Yep, he just had to spoil it. true talk boys will always be boys. This particular dude that i have described time without number as 'nothing short of amazing' is really nothing short of amazing, even in terrible ways. He's broken my heart, okay not quite, it feels more like damaged, wounded, but scars that can be healed. I'm sure you are wondering how he did this to me. He used silence....nothing could be more painful, more damaging especially when y'all didn't argue didn't fight, NOTHING!!!
A part of me just wants to let go, but something else, something stronger is saying hold on, sth might be wrong somewhere. So here i am, hoping and praying, most times praying, that he's doing fine wherever he is. I guess that;'s love. Even in the midst of the hell he has put me through i can still hope and pray that he is alright...sigh
At least i'm not crying myself to sleep...

If we had answers, what would they be?

2008-05-12T10:50:00.000+01:00

Funny how somethings like music can mean so much to us. How come we turn to music for comfort or to intensify whatever emotions you are feeling at the time. Yes, i am going through a lot right now. Everytime i wonder if i am too trusting. Why can't we just be true to each other for a change. Why must things be learnt the hard way? Why do we always have to rethink everything we do? Why do we have to be scared sometimes to trusting our instincts? How much, how far, how deep is enough before we know it's indeed enough? How do you heal the wounds? And when the wounds heal, how do you cope with the scars. SCARS!!! They never leave you. They stick around as a reminder of your past...damn!
Do you have that friend or loved that has a little too much to say? Do you have to take evrything he/she says with a pinch of salt?I have a million questions to ask but can i get any answers? That's another question in itself...
Somewhere within me, i know the answers to these question but i keep asking, there's gotta be another way, there's gotta be more to life. Really...hiss

Where do broken hearts go?...

2008-05-09T11:49:00.000+01:00

Oooooooh, this is so weird...seriously i've not done stuff like this since forever. Never kept a dairy or a journal...always been a lil too hard guess, but there's no harm trying it out now. So what am i supposed to write about again..me or absolutely anything!!!

Well I've got a question "where really do broken hearts go?" (seriously humming Whitney Houston's lyrics)... I ask coz a broken heart often leaves you feeling like you can never love again. But trust me that's a big fat lie. For the record i have fallen in love over and over and over again with...umm, the individualism only fashion can give..Oh the glory!!!...digressing already...

I'm sorry, but the issue of broken hearts and love have always been a difficult thing to talk about and to stare in the face. Seriously, I have fallen in love only once and i am still in love with that wonderful person . It's crazy how many things you can feel at the same time for that one person...

But the question still remains "where do broken hearts go?". Well, I believe they stay right where they are! Some people are lucky to have theirs healed by a greater love..and others die of broken hearts. That need not be. To save yourself from such a heart ache that leaves u miserable and drowning in an ocean of ur own tears, always remeber that no one can love you more than you love yourself. It is how much love you show to yourself that exudes from within you and others see and know how to treat you and how much they can love you.

Love yourself my dears, love the entirety of your being!!! Yeah, that includes your body. I know some of us have those wobbly bits that we can show no love but please appreciate it, your spirit,soul and body for who they are...you made them that way... Show yourself some goodness, give yourself a treat and your body too...a day at the spa, a body wax, a soak...something. Feed your mind...read more and learn something new. It will keep your mind off that hurting heart. And your soul....oh your precious precious soul . Guard your soul give it life, read your Bible. Remember it says "...it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. ..." I Corithians 13:7-8

Have faith in whatever you believe in...

LOVE...me